Alans MRI scans

I got a call from the specialist yesterday to say Alan's MRI scans have been arranged for the 17th April at 10.20 am. Not long to wait now. I really wish it was here as i want to know whats going on inside my baby's body. They told me he can either take a DVD or a CD to watch or listen to whilst he is in the machine. He is not one bit scared, he takes everything in his stride and not very much worries him.
He got 10/10 this week again in his spelling. Isn't he just a clever little man!

I got to talk to the psychologist this week so i do feel a bit better in my mind about things, i have had a little wobble today its been 5 years today since we found out the devastating news that Alan had cf, our lives changed forever. But Alan has brought great joy into our life. He brightens my darkest days and I'm so lucky to have him.

My Week

I have had a very difficult week this week, trying to come to terms with everything we have been told from the specialist last week. Every time i look at Alan i feel like crying i just cant bare the pain. We are still waiting to hear from the hospital for his MRI scans, still no word, or on his operations so this week has been stressful, i am also waiting on the psychologist calling to arrange a meeting to talk over all this with her. Alan my husband deals with things so differently from me, he just does not want to think or talk about this so i feel very lonely and have to keep my feelings in as he does not want to talk about it. CF sucks. 21years in October i am married and we used to talk about everything but anything to do with cf we just cant talk, its just too hard. I do feel lonely sometimes, as if no one understands me :(

Alan has had a good week at school, he has had 10/10 5 weeks in a row in his spelling test, he blew me away today when i picked him up i never expected him to get 10/10 this week his words were so difficult, he has autumn, and astronaut and August were in his words this week., but no, he managed them all. I'm a very proud mum.Well done Alan xxx

Mothers Day Poem

More Than A Mother

When God set the world in place,when He hung the stars up in space,when He made the land and the sea,then He made you and me. He sat back and saw all that was good,He saw things to be as they should.Just one more blessing He had in store;He created a mother, but whatever for?He knew a mother would have a special place to shine His reflection on her child's face.A mother will walk the extra mile just to see her children smile.She'll work her fingers to the bone to make a house into a home.A mother is there to teach and guide,a mother will stay right by your side.She'll be there through your pain and strife,she'll stay constant in your life.A mother will lend a helping hand until you have the strength to stand.She'll pick you up when you are down,when you need a friend she'll stick around.A mother is one who listens well,will keep her word; will never tell.A mother never pokes or pries but stands quietly by your side,giving you the strength you need,encouraging you to succeed.A mother is one who can be strong when you need someone to lean on.You're more than a mother to me;a reflection of Him in your face I see,a love that knows no boundaries.I'm glad that you chose to be all this and more to me.You share a love that knows no end,you're more than my mother,you are my friend.

Specialist visit

Alan had the specialist yesterday from the hospital in Glasgow to review his annual review results and i have to say it came as a huge shock to me and I'm finding it very difficult to come to terms with. As you all know every month really I'm telling you that Alan has some sort of infection and our own hospital have always thought that it is upper respiratory infections and they have given him antibiotics to combat them but yesterday the consultant hit us with the bombshell that Alan's lungs have significant changes since last year, i can hardly believe it. They score them out of 25 for the condition of their lungs and Alan only scored 15, he is only 7 so that is not a good score at all. I'm gutted. They also are sending him for a MRI scan to have a detailed look at his lungs and sinus system, they are putting him to sleep to deep wash all his sinuses to try to prevent infections or to wash out any bugs that are lurking. He has also been referred to the optromitist, he has been having double vision and headaches and not seeing his work very well, he had his eyes tested and its not his eyes so they are investigating that. He went to see the surgeon last week due to the fact he is having a rectal prolapse almost every time he goes to the toilet, so the surgeon in the next few weeks are going to try to repair it or if necessary remove a bit of his bowel to stop this happening. He suffered from it before and they repaired it, but until they actually have a look they wont know. Its been a very stressful start to the year.

Hospital Visit

We had our appointment today with the surgeon. Alan needs another operation :( He has been having the prolapses way too long, so they have decided to try to repair his prolapse or remove a piece of his bowel but we wont know until they actually look inside.
Alan is feeling a little apprehensive and to be honest i am too. I really know it needs done and that he will feel better once it is done but him having a general anesthetic scares me, really frightens me but i am trying to remain positive for his sake.
We got a letter home today to say Alan had passed his level A English. I am so pleased and proud of him.
I am having lunch with my sister tomorrow and i am so looking forward to it, having a few hours just to relax and chat.Its been a stressful few weeks.