Alans Dream come true

Alan was lucky enough to be chosen by This Morning Tv show to have a dream come true.It was all a huge surprise to him, he knew nothing about it. Him and I flew down to London, we stayed in a hotel overnight and Alison Hammond from this morning came in the morning to surprise him.He was so shocked. She told him that i had told her he loved army, she then asked him if he would like to go up in a helicopter and then go to drive tanks, you can imagine how excited he was. It was such a great day, he was made feel so special and with everything he has to deal with it was just what he needed.

We were at hospital on Thursday having 2 ct scans with Alan, they discovered that his spine is out of alignment at the top so before any surgery can be done they needed to do the ct scans, he was really brave it did look uncomfortable as he had to lie with his head tilted backwards and one tilted forward. Results should be available next week sometime.

He also has managed to do his insulin himself which was a massive step for him, he and i was so pleased im really proud of him.

So sorry for the delay in a update its been neverending lately, Alan has just finished 2 weeks worth of iv's so that has made him feel a little better.

I have also taken a huge leap and have signed up for a open university course, something i never thought i would be able to do, im doing a psychology course and if im honest im proud of myself, ive came a long way since the start of the year.     

Alans Fishing Trip

Alan took Wee Alan fishing for the first time on Saturday he really enjoyed it, he never caught any fish but wants to go again to try to catch one.
Alan learned him to cast out his line and he can so it really well now. We took a little picnic with us and made a day of it. Here's a few pics of him.   

The pic at the top is one of the strawberries we have been growing, first time we have ever grown anything.
Alan has enjoyed picking and eating them, i love the pic of him with the first strawberry he looks so cheeky in it.

Prize Giving

 Alan was lucky enough to win a prize at prize giving yesterday. He won the citizenship award. His head teacher said he is a inspiration to everyone he meets, that includes us.He endures so much, never complains and is a true fighter.

I have been reading that Connor aged 7 lost his fight with CF, I feel so very sad for the family , it must be the worse thing. Doing everything in your power to keep your child as well as possible, and sitting watching , not being able to do a solitary thing to stop what is happening. Oh how awful. Alan is my world, my miracle ,the most precious gift we were lucky enough to be entrusted with.Thinking about it for a minute, a second, is unbearable so please give a thought to Connor and his family. Breathe Easy Connor xx

Safari Park

We had a day out to the safari park on Saturday it was so nice to leave our troubles at home for the day. I really enjoyed our day out.Wee Alan had a brilliant time, he loves animals.He was on 24hr sugar glucose monitoring for a few days so it was a good distraction to take his mind off the needle in his tummy. He was having it checked to find out about insulin amounts being right. Here are some pics from our day.

Feelings

The psychologist came out to see us on Monday. She seemed mighty shocked with the news we had received. She made me feel a lot better about myself and told me that i HAVE to give my self time to come to terms with this information and that it is completely normal to be in shock.I had been beating myself up because i couldn't get it out my mind, if I'm truthful its still there all the time but at least I'm not beating myself up about it. I told her that i was terrified, that i didn't want to let Alan out my site. She said i have to try and be normal with Alan not to show him this is anything to worry about.This is SO hard, i feel like bursting into tears when i look at him.
Alan is off work today so we are having some tome together we are going out for a bit of lunch, I'm looking forward to it very much.

Pictures

I could not sleep last night, and i was looking through some pictures, i thought i would share these few with you. Alans smile melts my heart, he looks soooo happy in these pics.
We are having a visit from the psycologist this afternoon, so im hoping it will make me feel a little better about everything. I have been thinking about all of this ALL the time day and night, but it is much worse at night when i cant sleep, i feel my mind is so busy and wont or cant switch off, everytime i look at Alan i feel my eyes welling up and feel so sad, but these pics made me smile and they melted my heart, i just love it when he smiles.

Thank you to everyone who is keeping us in their thoughts it really means a lot to me. xx

Feeling Low

This weekend has been such a hard one. I'm struggling to come to terms with the news from the neurologist, i am in complete shock. Alan already copes with so much and now this latest blow. The Dr explained it all to him so he is aware he needs surgery and for a 7 year old that must be scary. I'm a grown up and I'm scared. I want to wrap him up and take all this away but unfortunately it is so out of my control.

Keep us in your thoughts, it means so much to me.